What No One Tells You About Learning a Sport As An Adult
it's not all matching outfits, punny team names and drinks in solo cups
For much of my life, I identified as an athlete. I played sports. Well, one sport.
I was a competitive soccer player for well-over a decade. Played a little bit in college. Then I quit.
I felt like I had missed out on trying so many other activities by being so specialized.
So when I got the chance, I turned to road-cycling. Bought my first bike and spandex shorts and clip-in pedals. I looked cool.
Played some beach volleyball. A friend asked me to join her team because they needed more girls to uphold the co-ed part.
Ran a couple half-marathons. I ran a lot in soccer so this felt like a natural step.
Dabbled in some recreational softball. And kickball. Thank you work-sanctioned social sports!
Tried out triathlon for a bit. I figured I already did the biking and running parts, might as well add a whole third sport.
Learned to ski in my late 20’s. Then switched to snowboarding in my early 30’s. When in Colorado…
Earlier this week I outlined the benefits of playing sports for non-sports people.
TL;DR:
Sports help you meet new people
Sports are great for making friends
Sports help you learn how to show up and commit to things
Sports put you in uncomfortable situations on purpose
So yes, while I might already consider myself a sports-person, starting new has never been easy or straightforward.
That’s why I want to help you better understand what you’re in for.
When I decided to do my first triathlon, I did not have any formal swim training. I mean, I could swim. But not like swim swim.
I signed up to do a race with Team in Training as a way to fundraise for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in honor of my mom’s 10-year anniversary of being cancer-free.
I remember walking into the first meeting feeling excited. It was a group of about 20 of us from all different age ranges, skill and athletic levels.
They outlined the programming and walked us through the training schedule. We’d start with a focus on swimming. Only swimming.
Cool.
For some reason, seems like most people who decide to do triathlons are already swimmers and then learn the biking and running. I had no idea so many people swam swam. I was a total newb.
We were set to do twice-weekly dedicated swim practices together. The only pool we had access to was as far away from where I lived as possible and required me to take two different trains and one bus to get there. In the middle of the winter.
Day one, they gave us an assessment. Everyone else seemed to be like fish in water. Doing all kinds of flip turns and dolphin-ing their bodies.
No joke, I thought I was going to drown.
Here’s what no one tells you about learning a new sport as an adult.
You don’t need to know what you’re doing. Having an interest in something is enough! Wanting to show up and try something is enough! You will figure it out as you go.
It takes up a lot of time. Time that you have to be willing to put in. Sports take away from everything else you have going on. Work. Home and social lives. Other hobbies and interests. But when you combine a sport with a social-setting though, it becomes a compelling time two-fer because you get to do both at once.
Being the new kid is hard. No matter how you slice it. Either you’re coming into a group with one person you know and everyone else has been besties forever. Or you’re brand spanking new without knowing a soul. You’ll feel vulnerable. Like you don’t belong. And that you have something to prove. But in reality, you don’t. You’re there to also do the thing that everyone else is there to do. Even playing field.
It might not be fun at first. You’re a sports-person now! Keep in mind that the newness and learning curve might not be as palatable as you hoped. Your expectations might not match reality. It could take a few times for you to figure out how you’d like to experience the sport. You might think that you want to be a tennis club star but discover you’re in it more for the outfits. That’s great! You’ll find your fun flow.
There will be overly intense, competitive people every time. Always gotta be one asshole. Someone who is better, stronger, faster. Someone who has a low-tolerance for anyone not at their level. Colorado is a state that seems to attract all sorts of these extreme athletes who like to let you know that they’ve done whatever you’re attempting to do uphill, backwards, both ways - twice and in half the time. These people can ruin your experience if you let them. Don’t let them. Laugh about it. ANd give yourself some grace to be where you are.
You will be humbled. And might cry. I know I certainly have. Like almost every single time I try a new sport. I joined tennis drills sessions for the first time last year and was immediately overwhelmed that everyone else seemed to know what the hell was going on. “Where am I supposed to stand? What did they just say? You want me to do what now?” I hit the ball into the net or out of bounds more times than actually in-play. And it was frustrating! It really sucks not being good at something. I had higher expectations for myself. As well as an obviously-over-inflated sense of skill. I took a beat and realized that it was a unique opportunity to be bad for a bit. Embrace being a beginner.
If you want to build skills, enlist someone who will help you get better. Someone you’ll actually listen to. Who’s feedback you can stomach. Maybe not your significant other (no matter how good they are at their sport). After snowboarding for four seasons. I finally signed up for lessons this past season. With a women’s group. It was so incredible to learn together, cheer each other on, and help each other get better with the guidance of an instructor. I got so good that I ate shit trying to a do a trick I never would’ve attempted before and broke my wrist. We try, we fail. We live, we learn.
The sport doesn’t have to become your identity. You can absolutely dabble. Try something for a season and maybe never again. When some friends book a pickleball court on a random Saturday and invite you out, you can say yes. You’ve played before even if you aren’t actively involved now. You can play again. Without having to be a “pickleball person.”
As a former “Soccer Player” I love this approach. I now find myself wanting to collect a bunch of different activities to add to my wheelhouse to bring out whenever. Like swimming. I don’t consider myself a “swimmer” but when I broke my wrist, I had that in my tool belt to tap into for a low-impact activity as I recovered.
Remember to celebrate the small wins. Actually hitting the ball over the net two times in a row. Swimming two pool lengths without stopping. Not falling while snowboarding. Getting the ball into play. Making a lay-up. Unclipping successfully from the bike. That first catch for a third-out. Keeping pace with the middle pack at run club. These things matter. And success compounds. Your confidence will build.
It will be more rewarding than you can ever imagine. You will learn so much about yourself. Meet people you might have never met. Prove to yourself that you’re capable of more than you imagined. And if nothing else, you’ll have collect at least one good story to tell.
What's something you learned the hard way that you wish someone had told you?